amsterdam

with the pulse that surrounds me
the electric liquid hum
in my pint glass
the smoke,
the banter,
i keep the barstool warm for you
tonite..
hoping..
that somewhere you are
intensly avoiding or
searching for me.

i know things cant be the same

i lie myself to sleep everynight
now that you are gone.
i conjure up images of us as we once were
compose
shit rhymed poems for you
look for someone to impress with
the words you so willingly consumed

it is without remorse
you sleep at night.
dreaming of other reluctant lovers
you will someday leave
as well.

i noticed the trees in your neighborhood

have dead dagger finger branches.

i see them everytime

i drive by your house.

the steel grey sky paints above you

like a menacing reminder and

i can feel the chill in your bones

everytime you write.

it's love

and i don't know a thing about it.

i don't know why the weather is bouncing inbetween us

like a message

i don't know why the nights

seem so long and lonely.

i don't know what love is

or if it really exsists,

in a cigarette

or a cup of cofee

or a song of jazz broken up between conversations

about you.

all i know is that you sit in other peoples cars

touch other people's hands

and never see me anymore.