heart shaped pillows sit on the bed unused.

i found the darkest corner of your footlocker to sleep in

next to your diary and worn out black chucks

i electric taped

to keep the rain out.

something happens..

i wanted to tell you i wanted to be in your room with the lights off.

i wanted to hear to sound of your room asleep..

i wanted to know that the blankets really felt like heaven

i wanted to know you

past your blouse and

belly and down

down

to the tomb of the secrets you held from me

weak eyes in your photgraphs

of a girl trying to find her way

personified into a concrete image of where my mindresides

that night i wanted to take the blade to my skull and peelaway the woman from me

i wanted to have your aloof eyes that

stared from the corner

of the picture of you at the wedding.

i could smell

crinolinas

stiff white icing

and your bare scalp

the smell of soap and innoscence